Who has helped you through the bad days? Who has shared the good days with you? Who has offered you help and advice when you most need it? Who do you turn to for specialist advice?
I was thinking about my long quest to become a mum and realised that a lot of people, both in real-life and in the virtual world, have helped me to cope with the last two years.
So here is my team:
My friends and family
Having recently told my mum about our diagnosis and IVF, I have been overwhelmed by her reaction. She wasn't over-the-top emotional as I expected her to be; she was calm, proactive and supportive, I should never have doubted her. And I would urge you not to make assumptions about peoples' reactions! My dad continues to be his quiet self but his hugs tells me he is there. And my sister who, only the other day, claimed she 'is not the nurturing type' waited on me hand and foot, snuggled with me under the duvet and made me laugh in the days after my Laparoscopy. My close friends are wonderful. One will be mentioned below and my other best friend, who is pregnant, is understanding and discrete.
I suggest you try to surround yourself with friends who make you feel positive. Of course, there will be some who have no empathy at all and if like me, you have some friends who make insensitive comments, I recommend distancing yourself from them, even if it's just for a short time.
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Having recently told my mum about our diagnosis and IVF, I have been overwhelmed by her reaction. She wasn't over-the-top emotional as I expected her to be; she was calm, proactive and supportive, I should never have doubted her. And I would urge you not to make assumptions about peoples' reactions! My dad continues to be his quiet self but his hugs tells me he is there. And my sister who, only the other day, claimed she 'is not the nurturing type' waited on me hand and foot, snuggled with me under the duvet and made me laugh in the days after my Laparoscopy. My close friends are wonderful. One will be mentioned below and my other best friend, who is pregnant, is understanding and discrete.
I suggest you try to surround yourself with friends who make you feel positive. Of course, there will be some who have no empathy at all and if like me, you have some friends who make insensitive comments, I recommend distancing yourself from them, even if it's just for a short time.
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The Medical Profession
So far my experience has mostly been a positive one. We are very lucky to have the NHS in this country.
So far my experience has mostly been a positive one. We are very lucky to have the NHS in this country.
A Nutritionist
I completely believe that 'we are what we eat.' I hate taking medication (although I know sometimes we have little choice) and I am convinced that holistic therapies can be as effective, or at least complimentary. When I had my first full bloods done over a year ago, they revealed that my Prolactin levels were very high. I sought out a Nutritionist who looked through my blood results and helped me to decipher them! She taught me how to eat a healthy vegetarian diet - although I must admit I don't always stick to it...but we have to have treats sometimes don't we?
My best friend who has been through IVF many times
We've been friends since the age of 11. She is like my personal advice service. I can text or call her at anytime of the day. She truly knows what I am going through.
We've been friends since the age of 11. She is like my personal advice service. I can text or call her at anytime of the day. She truly knows what I am going through.
A Counselor
At various times over the past two years I have sought out the guidance of a counselor. To have someone who I can say anything to has been invaluable.
My amazing Yoga teacher
Just walking into the incense-filled room calms me down. Yoga teaches you to appreciate and concentrate on your body. You have no space to think about anything else but that. As well as this, discovering the practice of Mindfulness has completely changed the way that I approach life. Oh, and all this is free!
My 'Virtual support network'
I never thought that I would be someone to frequent forums or rely so much on the internet BUT I have learnt that there are many, many women/couples in the same situation as me. Often, they know the answers to silly questions that you feel embarrassed about asking and offer kind but realistic words when you most need them. Clinics quite often have their own forums or threads so it's worth searching to see if you can find one.
My wonderful Acupuncturist
Who has twin boys after IVF treatment at the same clinic as me. I was petrified of needles when I started but she has not only helped me to relax but she has also worked with me to practically overcome my fear. The fact that I recently had a Canula in my hand for 11 hours and it didn't bother me is testament to the what she has done for me.
Who has twin boys after IVF treatment at the same clinic as me. I was petrified of needles when I started but she has not only helped me to relax but she has also worked with me to practically overcome my fear. The fact that I recently had a Canula in my hand for 11 hours and it didn't bother me is testament to the what she has done for me.
And, of course, my husband
who is riding this wave with me.
Here is one of my favourite photos from our wedding.
I'd love to know who you have in your support network. The next time you're feeling isolated, down or alone think about those around you who are wishing you well and love and care for you. And if you don't feel that you have much support then perhaps you could start to build one using the suggestions above.
Good luck everyone,
xx
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